Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
