Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
