Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
