she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need to align my fucking chakras
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
