I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i out mim tonsoeep
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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