Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
