guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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