in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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