I must be too annoying 4 u.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
