and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
