Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
