And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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