We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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