drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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