If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize