tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
