The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
