I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
