No stitches, just platelets and will power
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
