maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
