Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
