I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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