i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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