My room smells like vodka and shame
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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