I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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