ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize