So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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