she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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