i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
