Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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