she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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