can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
