Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
