two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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