i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
