man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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