wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My life is pants optional.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
