go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
