i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
