been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
