She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
