I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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