so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize