have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
