just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
