whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
