You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
