I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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