I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
