So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I need moral support for this bender
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize