I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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