I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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