well most of my day revolves around power hour
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize