Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
