Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
