I love black thongs
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
