Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
