Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
