dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
false alarm. still invincible.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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