Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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