Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she looked like the before picture.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
