Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
