Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
