it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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