My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize