Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
