she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
