There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
