her vagine was all disorganized.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
the liver wants what the liver wants
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
